Beef Knuckles

A hat refuses to die.

Posted in Uncategorized by roburt on September 17, 2009

Earlier this week saw the NBA Hall of Fame inductions of Michael Jordan, John Stockton and David Robinson, three icons of ’90s hoops. The trio were worthy selections for a number of different reasons: Jordan, for being the all-time greatest and baldest; Robinson, for scoring 71 points in the only exciting game in Spurs history; and Stockton, for having the same tidy haircut for over 40 years.

Haircuts! Yeah!

Haircuts! Yeah!

They were all cool dudes and I probably had posters of them all over my wall when I was about 10 years old (note: I didn’t), but these following forgotten legends are the true Hall of Famers of my heart.

1: Cedric Ceballos

Cedric

Growing up, I loved Cedric for so many reasons: 1) His last name almost meant “onions” in Spanish. 2) He was FAT! 3) He always talked about how much he looooved music. 4) He cheated his way to a Slam Dunk title with a really lame gimmick. 5) He rapped on a G-funk classic with Warren G.

2: Kendall Gill

Kendall Anybody who loved ’90s hoops loved Kendall Gill. That’s a fact I just made up, but it sounds true. He just seemed like a nice guy, plus any guy who scores around 15 points a game commands respect. His stats say he averaged over 20 ppg in the ’91-’92 and ’96-’97 seasons, but I don’t remember him ever scoring more than 15 points. 15 points is a good number – a commendable contribution if he’s playing on your team and not enough to make you angry if he’s playing on the other team.


3: Walt Williams

Walt

Walt Williams was the most dapper of ’90s basketball players. With his knee-high socks, beatnik beard, slim physique and graceful moves, he looked like he’d stepped straight out of a classic Blue Note record sleeve. Unfortunately, his teammates always sucked nuts so he hardly ever won a game. He also made a nice cameo in the cheerful video to Hootie & the Blowfish’s “I Only Wanna Be With You”.

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